We should love our parents and Reasons Why We Love Our Parents by- Myoma Myint Kywe

We should love our parents and
Reasons Why We Love Our Parents

Researched by- Myoma Myint Kywe
 ဦးျမင့္ၾကြယ္ ( ၿမိဳ ႔မ ျမင့္ၾကြယ္ )

Be benevolent not malevolent!
May all living beings be well, happy and peace!

Reasons Why We Love Our Parents

“No matter how much you try, you can never completely repay the kindness of two people: your mother and father.”
-The Buddha (BC 623-BC 543)

Traditionally, in Buddhist countries, parent position for their children is the same level along with Buddha and monks. Our parents are the ones who brought us in the World. We should love and appreciate them as much as we can because one day they will be gone.  Parents send us to school because children need to learn and school is the place where professional educators are.

1.   Our Parents taught us about MORALITY
2.   Our Parents taught us about HONESTY.
3.   Our Parents taught us about do the BEST.
4.   Our Parents taught us about LOGICAL ARRANGEMENT.
5.   Our Parents taught us about SELF CONTROL.
6.   Our Parents taught us about RELIGION.
7.   Our Parents taught us about DILIGENCE.
8.   Our Parents taught us about WISDOM.
9.   Our Parents taught us about JUSTICE.
10.   Our Parents taught us about TRUTH. 
11.   Our Parents taught us about POLITENESS.

Children not only need to love their parents, but also maintain the teaching of parent and ethics that build strong character. We must be prepared to respond to their noble gratitude. We need to show our parents we love them so much.

The more than three thousand volumes of outer scriptures concern no other matters; they teach nothing but filial conduct toward one's father and mother. Yet though [by following these teachings] one may fulfill his duties to his parents in the present life, he will be unable to help them in their life to come. The debt of gratitude owed to one's father and mother is as vast as the ocean. If one cares for them while they are alive but does nothing to help them in their next life, his actions, by comparison, are like a single drop of water.

In particular, Buddha lectured in surprising detail on the kindness of mothers. He said that, “If we look at men, they eat good food their whole lives, listen to Dharma speeches, and then have many kinds of experiences, so that even when they die, their bones are still white and dense. Women, on the other hand, bleed a lot in the process of childbirth, have to endure incredible suffering in their bodies, and struggle their entire lives, so their bones are black and brittle.”
The Buddha taught that those with integrity would express gratitude towards those who have helped them. It so happens that the ones we should have gratefulness towards are the first humans we come in contact with in this life – our parents.

The debt of gratitude we have towards our mothers and fathers is not easy to repay. As an analogy, even if you were to carry your mother on one shoulder and your father on the other for 100 years, caring for them by various ways such as helping to massage and bathe them, and even clearing their waste, this would not repay their kindness. Neither would offering them absolute sovereignty over the whole world with its bountiful treasures do. This is so as our parents have done so much… via caring for and nourishing us, and showing us the ways of the world.

However, if one spurs one’s unbelieving parents to have faith in the Dharma; one’s immoral parents to have virtue; one’s stingy parents to have generosity; one’s ignorant parents to have wisdom, then one does enough by repaying more than enough - by being their spiritual ‘parents’. To link our parents to the safest and most fortunate rebirths in pure land where liberation is guaranteed would be very filial indeed!

Our parents are the ones who brought us in the World. We should love and appreciate them as much as we can because one day they will be gone. We must love our parents. You should say with loving voice intonation forever.

I think back to my parent. I had to say in my mind about gratitude of my parent repeatedly. Excuse me, allow me to share with my personal heart yearn, feeling and thoughts.

In Loving Memory of My Beloved May May and Phay Phay

(May May in Burmese language is Mommy in English language.
Phay Phay in Burmese language is Daddy in English language).
(In loving memory of my father who passed away on 22th September, 1983. His name is Myoma U Than Kywe. He was the one of the leaders of the Panglong Conference along with National Leader General Aung San that initiated the formation of the new nation of Union of Burma in February 12, 1947.
In loving memory of my mother who passed away on the 22th September, 2012. Her name is Daw Ahmar (a) Daw Myint Myint Win ). She has practiced  insight meditation of Mogok Vipassana since1983 until she died. She also explained and taught  many children in her surroundings.

….You are so good to me infinitely good since I was born 14 April 1960….You gave me life; you gave me your heart and your shoulder when I needed to cry…..You gave me hope, when all my hope is gone and you gave me wings so my dreams can fly... You gave me your words, you gave me your voice, you gave me your everything, each breath time of your life…You are the best thing that ever happened in my entire life without you; I wouldn't bless to come in this world. You were there whenever I need help and support, you taught my faith to survive and be a good person! Believe me, if I haven't stop talking about how precious you are to me until I die…that won't be good enough to make you see how I do appreciate it...But all I can say which I hope you would believe every word I say because I mean it in every sense of word that my love for you will live in my heart until NIRVANA / Nibbana (eternity) is through and I thank you for everything you've done to me so much”. (In the Buddhist tradition, nirvana is described as the extinguishing of the fires that cause suffering. These fires are typically identified as the fires of attachment (raga), greed (lobha), aversion/anger (dosa) and ignorance (moha or avijja). When the fires are extinguished, suffering (dukkha) comes to an end. The cessation of suffering is described as complete peace.
Bhikkhu Bodhi states: The state of perfect peace that comes when craving is eliminated is Nibbana (nirvana), the unconditioned state experienced while alive with the extinguishing of the flames of greed, aversion, and delusion).

I shall never forget my beloved parent and their GRATITUDE. I love them forever. My sibling and I love our beloved parents forever. Phay Phay and May May, take our METTA and merits, we will send METTA and merits to you. As a Buddhist, in my Shrine Room in front of Buddha Statute, we pray for you to be free from all kinds of " dukkha - samsara " and share all our Merits to you... (Ah-hmya...Ah-hmya...Ah-hmya)...We pray you may rest in peace until attain Nirvana. We believe that their Nirvana gate was opened.

Ah-hmya is a Buddhist term that literally means "share the merits from the good deeds". 
If you really want to honor and help your departed ones, then do some meritorious deeds in their name and transfer the merits to them. According to Buddhism, good deeds or 'acts of merit' bring happiness to the doer both in this world and in the hereafter. Acts of merit are also believed to lead towards the final goal of everlasting happiness. The acts of merit can be performed through body, speech or mind. Every good deed produces 'merit' which accumulates to the 'credit' of the doer. Buddhism also teaches that the acquired merit can be transferred to others' it can be shared vicariously with others. In other words, the merit is 'reversible' and so can be shared with other persons. The persons who receive the merit can be either living or departed ones.

Saṃsara is a Buddhist term that literally means "continuous movement" and is commonly translated as "cyclic existence", "cycle of existence", etc. Within Buddhism, samsara is defined as the continual repetitive cycle of birth and death that arises from ordinary beings' grasping and fixating on a self and experiences. Specifically, samsara refers to the process of cycling through one rebirth after another within the six realms of existence, where each realm can be understood as either a physical realm or a psychological state characterized by a particular type of suffering.

Dukkha is a Buddhist term commonly translated as "suffering", "anxiety", "stress", or "unsatisfactoriness".The principle of dukkha is one of the most important concepts in the Buddhist tradition. The Buddha is reputed to have said: "I have taught one thing and one thing only, dukkha and the cessation of dukkha." The classic formulation of these teachings on dukkha is the doctrine of the Four Noble Truths, in which the Truth of Dukkha (Pali: dukkha sacca;) is identified as the first of the four truths.

We are also taught that the debt of gratitude children owe our parents for what our parents have done for us cannot be repaid to them whatever our children might do in return our parents.

We all had a very different childhood experience.  For some it was incredible. Our parents were consistent, loving, and honest. You MUST tell your parents “Thank you SO much” before they die.

Even if one should carry about one's mother on one shoulder and one's father on the other, and so doing should live a hundred years.... Moreover, if one should set them up as supreme rulers, having absolute rule over the wide earth abounding in the seven treasures - not even by this could one repay one's parents….. This is the real truth.

Every parent do a lot gratitude for their children: they bring them up, provide them with love, food, security and introduce them to the world…

The Buddha said "I tell you, monks, there are two people who are not easy to repay. Which two? They are your mother & father. Even if you were to carry your mother on one shoulder & your father on the other shoulder for 100 years, and were to look after them by anointing, massaging, bathing, rubbing their feet, and they were to defecate & urinate right there [on your shoulders], you would not in that way pay or repay your parents. ….If you were to establish your mother & father in absolute sovereignty over this great earth, providing U.S. dollars 1,000,000,000 (one billion) or supporting in the seven treasures, you would not in that way pay or repay your parents. Why is that? Mother & father do much for their children. They care for them, they nourish them and they bring us to this world."…..

One of the most beautiful teachings of the Buddha was his teaching that true love knows no boundaries. This idea was expressed in the metta sutta as a mother’s love for her child. Even as a mother protects with her life her child, her only child, so with a boundless heart, should one cherish all living being. Each partner has and/or shows the same feelings toward each other. Let mutual love continue. We need to be helping hands. Do not neglect to show love and hospitality to others. We should love one another. Especially we should love our parents.

The Buddha says we should endeavor to repay the four types of kindness. Therefore, we must first recognize kindnesses, and then appreciate them, and only then, can we repay the kindnesses through our own actions. First we should recognize the many kindnesses of:
·        the Three Jewels (Buddha, Dhamma / Dharma, Sangha),
·        our parents and teachers,
·        our society and country,
·        all sentient beings.

A threshold question to ask ourselves is; who is kind to us?  If we think about it, it is both people we know, as well as those who we don’t know. If we contemplate this, we can come to realize a pure and tranquil state of mind.

Then, love and forgiveness are very essential for stop the war and every crisis. If hate is a learned behavior influenced by the environment, then perhaps it can be prevented or unlearned. We must practice empathy to try and more understand.

Parent’s love is patient and forgiving when all others are forsaking, it never fails or falters, even though the heart is breaking.

One of the greatest titles in the world is parent and one of the biggest blessings in the world is to have parents to call Mother and Father.

Helping Hands ‘Live’ is about changing lives. It’s about accessing the potential of your hands, heads and hearts to build a better team, a better organization and a better world. In the first stage, you feel METTA for yourself. You start by becoming aware of yourself, and focusing on feelings of peace, calm, and tranquility. Then you let these grow in to feelings of strength and confidence, and then develop into love within your heart. You can use an image, like golden light flooding your body, or a phrase such as ‘may I be well and happy’, which you can repeat to yourself. These are ways of stimulating the feeling of metta for yourself.

Then think of someone you do not particularly like or dislike. Your feelings are ‘neutral’. This may be someone you do not know well but see around. You reflect on their humanity, and include them in your feelings of metta. Then think of someone you actually dislike — an enemy. Trying not to get caught up in any feelings of hatred, you think of them positively and send your metta to them as well. In the final stage, first of all you think of all four people together — yourself, the friend, the neutral person, and the enemy.

Then extend your feelings further — to everyone around you, to everyone in your neighborhood; in your town, your country, and so on throughout the world. Have a sense of waves of loving-kindness spreading from your heart to everyone, to all beings everywhere. Then gradually relax out of meditation, and bring the practice to an end.

We all tried to "always look on the bright side" as much as we can. Try to put together a list of positive sides of your job, company, employer, and staff. While doing so, keep your mind focused on positive; remember some funny stories that have happened to you recently. This will help to concentrate your thoughts and make them positive. Peace and love are the ONE.

If children don’t respect to parent and insult to their parent, they will suffer miserably due to the debt that must be repaid.

Because we owe an overwhelming debt of gratitude to our parents, we must repay the debt of gratitude firstly by appreciating our parents. We should know how good they are to us. Additionally, we must repay that debt of gratitude to them. In Buddhism, this concept is described in these words: katanyu and katavedi, which represent the pride and dignity of a child.  
We should NOT forget the debts of gratitude we owe to our parents.
Gratitude towards parents is an important virtue in Buddhism as the relationship with one’s parents as a profound impact on one’s spiritual growth.   
With regard to the debt owed to one’s father and mother, the two fluids, red and white, of the father and mother come together to become your body. You dwell within your mother’s womb for 240-270 days, a period of nine months during which your mother on thirty-seven occasions undergoes suffering that is close to death. And the pains she endures at the time of birth are almost too great to imagine, the panting breath, the sweaty steam rising from her forehead till it reaches the Brahma heaven. After birth, she provides you with 180 and more measures of milk; for a period of three years you romp/play about the knees of your father and mother. So, when you come of age and take faith in Buddhism, you must first of all think of paying the debt you owe to your father and mother. 

There are two people that we can never completely gratify in our life in this world. We can never completely please them. Do you know who they are? They are our mothers and fathers. Everyone wants to repay completely gratify their parents. How can we gratify them? There are three ways to do this.

The first way is to put our mother on our right and our father on our left, by washing their clothes and bodies, feeding them every day and making their beds every night. Even if we are spend our whole life helping and caring for them we’ll never completely repay them because they are our benefactors and worthy of our respect.

The second way is to act like a king. As a king want to fully repay his parents and show them his gratitude, he give them all his money, gold, land and power which he belong to because they are his benefactors and worthy of his respect. Even if we do like this as a king, we’ll never completely repay them because they are our benefactors and worthy of our respect.

The third way is through Faith, Morality, Liberality, Concentration and Wisdom. We must encourage our parents to have all of these. If they don't have them then it is our duty to help them and encourage them in all these things.
We send them our merits, bless them and pray for them, Even if they are passed way. If we can do this third way, we can show our gratitude to our parents as a part of gratitude towards them but not complete yet. 
(The third way is that Saddhā=Faith, Sila=Morality, Cāga=Liberality, Sammādhi=Concentration, Pann̄ā=Wisdom: if our parents have no faith in believing truth, we should encourage them to have faith. If our parents have no morality in regarding their behavior, we should encourage them to believe in morality. If our parents have no generous act or liberality, we should encourage them to believe in giving or generous act or liberality. If our parents have no concentration, We should encourage them to have concentration. If our parents have no wisdom, we should encourage them to be wise or to have wisdom. If we can do this third way, we can show our gratitude to our parents as a part of gratitude towards them but not complete yet.)

Parents are our greatest benefactors

We all had a very different childhood experience.  For some it was incredible. Their parents were consistent, loving, and honest. For some people, they was the opposite, they were absent, abusive, and broken. Wherever your story lands, we cannot deny that our parents are still our greatest benefactors.

Our Mothers birthed us. Our Fathers supported us. They clean our stool, changed our daily cloth diapers, listened to us cry, fed us, worried about us, and ultimately raised us. They sent us to school. They explained us how to study in Education. They taught us do or don't and suitable or unsuitable in our lives. We must be prepared to respond to their noble gratitude. We need to show our parents we love them so much. We must do pay back with METTA to their debt.

Four sublime states of mind have been taught by the Buddha since 588 BC:

1.   Love or Loving-kindness (metta)
2.   Compassion (karuna)
3.   Sympathetic Joy (mudita)
4.   Equanimity (upekkha)

METTA is also known as "pure love" in English language.
Then METTA in Pali in language means “loving-kindness” or “boundless love” or “love without boundaries.”

It is the wish for all sentient all living beings to be well and happy.
All living beings, as known to humankind, are sentient beings, and therefore can feel pain, pleasure, sensations, feelings and emotions; they then deserve the right as we do to peaceful coexistence under the same laws of protection that we do.

It is the basis for the cultivation of other great virtues such as compassion, unselfish joy, unselfish sacrifice, mercy and equanimity. The Metta Bhavana meditation is a practice which helps develop an attitude of well-wishing towards all living beings.

KARUNA is generally translated as compassion or “boundless mercy. Karuṇā is one of the four "divine abodes" (brahmavihara), along with loving kindness (metta), sympathetic joy (mudita) and equanimity (upekkha).

MUDITA means sympathetic joy. It is especially the pleasure that comes from delighting in other people's well-being rather than envy or jealousy it. Mudita meditation is used to cultivate appreciative joy at the success and good fortune of others. It is used to counteract the resentment, jealousy, or envy often experienced at another's success.

UPEKKHA is the Buddhist concept of equanimity. As one of the Brahma Vihara (meditative states), it is a pure mental state cultivated on the Buddhist path to nirvana. UPEKKHA (equanimity) is one of the four immeasurable and is considered: Neither a thought nor an emotion, it is rather the steady conscious realization of reality's transience. It is the ground for wisdom and freedom and the protector of compassion and love. While some may think of equanimity as dry neutrality or cool aloofness, mature equanimity produces a radiance and warmth of being.

Upekkha is a perfect, unshakable balance of mind, rooted in insight. Looking at the world around us, and looking into our own heart, we see clearly how difficult it is to attain and maintain balance of mind.

METTA is a powerful healing force which will transform us into a more compassionate, caring and resilient community, transmuting all negative energies and entities into light, love and harmony. Love is called “metta” in Buddhism. The direct enemy of ‘Metta’ is hatred.

·       Metta has no caste system.
·       Metta has no skin color.
·       Metta has no pride.
·       Metta has no limits.
·       Metta has no hate.
·       Metta has no calculator.
·       Metta is not jealous.
·       Metta is not a fight.
·       Metta is not extreme.
·       Metta has no boundaries.
·       Metta has no anger.
·       Metta has no malevolent.
·       Metta has no age limit.
·       Metta has no gender.

Metta is patient. Metta is forever.
Metta is forgiving. Metta is always fresh.
Metta is forever. Metta is immaculate.
Metta is kind. Metta is unselfish.
Metta is infinity. Metta never grows old.
Metta is ever fresh. Metta has no malice.
Metta is the top of the best teachings.

Loving-kindness means doing good things for others and showing kindness to others so that they will be well and happy. Another word for loving-kindness is Metta. Especially, mutual Loving-kindness and peace are most important in having a successful marriage.

Metta (love) is the all Buddhist practice of cultivating loving kindness, goodwill, cooperation, harmony, friendliness, forgiveness, sympathy, and peace in your own disposition.  Also known as the sublime attitudes, this meditation cultures life supporting qualities.
As we continue our meditation practice and our heart opens up to others, the practice of metta naturally becomes easier and much more successful. Metta is a state of mind.  Its object is the lovable Being.  It is part of the Anatta, or non-self teachings, and is of utmost value.
The most important thing in life is the love, peace, forgiveness and happiness. Share your peace and joy with other people as much as you can do . Let the feeling flow into their hearts. Embrace them with your love and compassion, without expecting the same in return. Then surround everyone with the warmth and care of your love and compassion. Love and kindness are the same.

First of all, we must respect that and allow the other freedom and values. Most people believe “respect” is the most important factor in the world, however some people disagree, they believe the most important thing in a relationship is “Love” for one another. Loving-kindness is one of the four Immeasurable taught by the Buddha. The other three are sympathetic joy, equanimity (equal spread of feelings) and compassion. For me, both mutual respect and mutual love are very important for all ages, everybody and everywhere. Friendship is the kind of love that never can grow old.

The cultivation of loving-kindness (metta bhāvana) is a most popular form of meditation in Buddhism. In the Theravada Buddhist tradition, this practice begins with the meditation cultivating loving-kindness towards themselves, then one's loved ones, friends, teachers, strangers, enemies, and finally towards all sentient beings. Since 588 B.C, Metta meditation is regularly recommended to the Buddha's followers in the 2,602-year-old Pali canon (B.C 588+2014 = 2602).

Loving-kindness means you want all beings to be well and happy. Not just people you know and like, but all beings - including strangers, people that annoy you, even animals. Love should be a force that helps you expand your life and bring forth your natural potential with fresh and dynamic vitality.

We show loving-kindness in bodily deed in speech in thought to others by wishing them to be well and happy. One way to show loving-kindness is to help other people so that they will be able to do things by themselves.

We wish ourselves to be well and happy so that we can do well and help others and because we all want to be happy. We should try to make our parents and teachers well and happy because they teach us so many interesting things that we do not know about.

We should try to make people well and happy. We should pray for each other every day. Before going to bed, we should generate loving-kindness for all beings. If we always do this, we will be happy and peaceful.

The Buddha was once asked to summarize his teachings.   

1. Do not harm yourself
2. Do not harm any living being
3. Do well whenever you can

I do not know detail anywhere where it is stated to 'love one another', but the whole concept of Buddhism is based on the principle of loving kindness any living being and to help every living being where you can.

The following comes from a discussion about compassion and wisdom:
A common saying in Buddhism, "to develop and practice both compassion and wisdom," indicates that compassion and wisdom are inseparable and integral elements of the path of Buddha Dharma.

The eleven principles of “Peaceful Coexistence” as promoted by Buddhism are:

·       To do mutual love  
·       To do mutual kindness
·       To do mutual respect
·       To do mutual equality
·       To do mutual benefit
·       To do mutual peaceful co-existence
·       To abstain from mutual violence
·       To abstain from mutual  hatred
·       To abstain from mutual  envy
·       To abstain from mutual misdeeds
·       To abstain from mutual harmful action

There are eleven notable consequences (causality) of the Buddhism concept of peaceful coexistence. Causality (also referred to as causation) is the relation between an event (the cause) and a second event (the effect), where the second event is understood as a physical consequence of the first.

In common usage, causality is also the relation between a set of factors (causes) and a phenomenon (the effect). Anything that affects an effect is a factor of that effect.

There are many ways to practice through METTA, which is sometimes also called a "loving kindness" meditation. One form is as follows:  
May I be peaceful 
May I be happy  
May I be well  
May I be safe
May I be free from suffering  

May all beings be peaceful  
May all beings be happy 
May all beings be well 
May all beings be safe
May all beings be free from suffering.  

These words are repeated slowly, with pauses between phrases for contemplation and absorption of the intention. It is a common practice in this tradition to do "METTA" as a formal spiritual practice daily, and there are even meditation retreats in which this constitutes the whole practice day in and day out for a week or more. The emphasis is not so much on sound vibration as on being absorbed in the repetition of the mental intention. Practitioners universally report that such practice opens the heart and creates deep feelings of peacefulness and harmony.

Gratitude to Parents

Parents and children always will have some level of conflict, but mutual respect helps minimize hurt feelings and animosity (enmity) resulting from family tensions. Children should respect their parent authority while parents should also respect their children's value and age-appropriate choices. When parents and children avoid harsh words, belittling comments and loose tempers, conflicts can often be resolved quickly and effectively.

Maintaining family unity and close relationships between parents and children is the challenge and the responsibility of both parents and their children. Family unity is maintained by sensitive and understanding communication between youth and parents. Many problems in the home are created because of the way we communicate and react one to another. Parents who take time to explain, who understand, who are sensitive to the needs of their children, and who communicate to their children that they do understand them help their children to be obedient.

Parents and youth alike should realize their responsibility to work toward a happy home. That is where the teaching of the Lord Buddha dwells and gives greater unity, purpose, and accomplishment to the entire family. Youth in today’s world have an exciting and challenging life, filled with activities, responsibilities, and desires that have an impact on their home.  One of the great family challenges is for parents to train and bring up a child in righteousness. In the process of righteous training, parents should allow their children to grow and develop in accordance with gospel principles of every religion.

This necessitates the establishment of guidelines and rules within the home. We can develop the ability to adjust to life’s situations by striving to determine what is right. Realize that if you treat parents and other family members as if they are what you would like them to be, they will become that way. Realize that when conflicts arise in the home, we must look at our own lives and talk through problems and solutions. When we spend our energies contending, we deprive ourselves of energies necessary to peacefully solve the problem. Only when you are in charge of self, when you have self-control, are you really free and able to assist in creating harmony in the home.

The Buddha taught in the suttas (the oldest Buddhist texts) that it is not easy to repay your father and your mother for your "precious human birth." In fact, he specifies that even if you carried them on your shoulders for a century, taking good care of them, and allowing them to relieve themselves on you, you would still have a debt to them.

Buddhism teaches to honor your parents. This goes back to the moral idea that your parents are your first teachers. You were blessed enough to have been given  parents and you are to obey your parents because they are the first and only   true human guardians on earth given to us by a higher power/supernatural being of this universe. (Lastly, obeying your parents and obeying Buddha are the same, for the very reason stated above).

Parents are the water fountains of our lives. They are our precious gems. They are the sun and moon in our world, in our family. Father is the Sun and mother is the moon. As Buddhists, as well as grateful and faithful sons and daughters, we cannot think of a life without our parents. Buddha said, “Mātā pitu upatthānam etam mangala muttamam means “looking after parents and supporting parents are a great blessing”. Having good parents, kind-hearted parents, is really a very great blessing to a family, a great fortune.

As Buddhists, whenever we get together and perform good deeds, meritorious deeds, never forget our parents we commemorate the great virtues of our parents. Specially we commemorate the departed parents affectionately and respect and support our parents while they are alive. 

We should respect and support our parents while they are alive. There are some people in our society who try to respect their parents only after their deaths. While they are alive, no one is there to support them and treat them. Sometimes, they die without a sip of water. But right after that the children start to cry and weep and going from place to place build many kinds of monuments spending thousands or millions in their names.

But that helps them only a very little. They have gone for good. For the departed ones there is only a very narrow opportunity to receive merit. Therefore, better to do it while alive, today, right now, do your own merit by yourself. 

We see some children who dislike looking after their parents strive to find some excuses saying that they have no time. But when we were little ones our mother or father did not seek such excuses. However, those who seek loopholes are not regarded as truly grateful sons and daughters. This is not the way that we should respect and support our humble and simple parents especially at the time in need.

If we are mindful enough we can perform many kinds of meritorious deeds such as generosity, morality and meditation on behalf of our parents while they are still with us and also after their passing away. This is also one of the moral duties of the children.  As the Buddha said, this will be certainly a great help for their journey.

Here it is necessary to understand how we, Buddhists, got this tradition? It is from the Buddha himself. The Buddha, the Self Awakened One, taught us how to treat our parents while they are alive and even after their demise. That is why we perform meritorious deeds in this manner.

What are these six things then?

The Buddha emphasized the need of doing more and more good deeds in many a discourse and especially reiterated the significance of respecting and supporting parents. One such well-known discourse where he addressed to clarify some social issues is the Sigalovada Sutta.

One day, a certain young man having arisen early in the morning, went to the lake, immersed himself and then came out of the lake. With still wet hair and clothing, keeping his joined palms on his forehead, started to prostrate to the different directions of the world. He saluted the East, West, North, South, up and down; these six directions respectively.

Seeing this meaningless and groundless salutation, the self Awakened One addressed him and said, “Young Friend, why do you get up so early in the morning and after having taken a bath, with wet hair and wet clothing salute these different directions? Then the young man said,    “Ven. Sir, this is what my father said to me just before he closed his eyes. He asked me to pay homage to the six directions and that is what I do right here.”

Thereafter, the Self-Awakened one said, the salutation to these six directions in
the Noble One’s Dispensation is not like this. The young man then was interested and wanted to know the salutation of the Noble One’s Dispensation.  When asked, the Buddha disclosed the six directions. The Buddha said, “Young Friend, six things are to be regarded as six directions, not the six directions in the world. What are these six things then?

1) East: denotes parents,
2) South: denotes teachers
3) West: denotes wife, children including sons or daughters.
4) North: denotes friends,
5) Bottom: denotes servants or workers, and
6) Top: denotes the ascetics, monks or nuns.

According to Buddhism, these are the different categories of people in society. They are to be respected and treated well in a reciprocal manner. They have their own duties to be fulfilled towards each other. Once the duties are fulfilled, the society becomes a balanced and righteous one. So as the Buddha said, the East denotes Parents and its direct opposite the West denotes sons or daughters.

They both in reciprocation should fulfill their duties towards each other. The Buddha recommended five duties to be accomplished by parents and in return, five duties to be accomplished by children towards their parents.  Let us now understand these duties and their moral obligations.

Once the Buddha compared parents to the Brahma, the creator God; though actually, parents are the real creators and said, they created us surely. Here, in reference to parents the Buddha gave three epithets, three special terms, to be used to parents. Parents are the greatest benefactors for us.

The Buddha said: Monks, ‘Brahma’ is a special term to be used to parents, ‘pubbācariya’ is a special term to be used to parents and ‘āhuneyya’ is a special term to be used to parents.

Why did the Peerless One, the Buddha, give these three terms to be used to parents? In the time of the Buddha, in India, people believed that all beings were created by Brahma, the creator. So the people performed various kinds of sacrifices, at times killing thousands of animals and putting more and more ghee into the fire to propitiate this invisible God, Brahma.

The Buddha’s compassionate advices for the people in that time was to consol and respect the Brahma at home. The Brahma at home is none other than your mother and your father. That is how the Buddha put the parents on the very top position in society. The Buddha gave them the best place in that society.  Here it is necessary to understand this concept of Brahma a little further.

According to Buddhism, there are 16 Brahma worlds where there are thousands of Brahmas. They are those who practiced meditation, mainly the meditation on the four sublime abodes. The four are: loving friendliness (mettā), compassion (karunā), appreciative joy (muditā), and equanimity (upekkhā).
All those Brahmas have these four qualities.

The Buddha, the Self Awakened One, knew very well that all parents have these four qualities. That is why the Buddha compared parents to brahmā. So how can we understand that all parents have these great qualities? All parents have these four great qualities not towards all but towards their children.

Let us now understand why parents are to be called pubbacariya. Pubbacariya means pre-teachers or first teachers. Our parents are the first teachers of our lives and they have taught us many things. From a very young age, they taught us how to rise, how to walk, how to talk, how to sit, how to eat, how to drink, how to wear clothing, how to comb our hair and brush teeth, and even how to sleep. 
That is why we should respect and support them as our first teachers in this life.

As most of us know well, in the Blessing discourse, the Buddha recommended 38 kinds of blessing where the Buddha said, “pujāca pujaniyānam etam mangalam uttamam” which means; honour, respect, to those who are worthy to be respected. For Buddhists first and foremost they respect the Buddha, Dhamma and the Sangha, the Triple gem; right after that they respect their parents because they are certainly worthy to be respected, worthy of any offerings.

Friends, if we are mindful enough and become more concern about others we can understand that everybody can look after his or her parents. Unfortunately, only a few in societies do they want to look after them, respect and support them. For that also one should have developed good qualities such as love, compassion, and generosity.  Those who have such qualities are called sappurisa, true friends who have basically three characteristics:

1. Always think to do good things
2. Always talk to do something good
3. Always do what is good

Importantly, such a good person is always ready:
1. to respect & support his /her parents,
2. Respect & support the teachers and adults.
3. His speech is pleasant and uses word, which is dear to the ear and heart.
4. He/she never backbites.
5. He/she is generous.
6. He/she speaks what is truth.
7. He/she is with full of
Metta (loving friendliness).

When we contemplate this further we can understand clearly that those who think positively and understand things correctly come to the decision to support parents. This right understanding is very much significant. This is what we call Sammā ditthi, right understanding (or) right views. This is the first step of the Noble Eight fold Path. Those who have wrong understanding or wrong views can never think in this manner. There are ten wrong views:

1. There is no good result of giving.
2. There is no good result of offering.
3. There is no good result of performing some sacrifices.
4. There are no fruits, no results of doing good karma or bad karma.
5. There is no other existence of beings to come to be reborn in this world.
6. For those living here there are no other world systems to be reborn again.
7. There is no result of supporting and respecting mother.
8. There is no result of supporting and respecting father.
9. There are no spontaneous beings in the world.
10. There are no ascetics and recluses who have developed mind and reach the highest levels of holy life.

There are two people who are not easy to repay about their gratitude

Once our Lord Buddha said, “Monks there are two persons who cannot be reimbursed/paid back. They are the mother and father”.
The Buddha further said, “Suppose, monks, there is a son who lives 100 years and keeps his mother on his one shoulder and the father on his other shoulder. He treats them well while they are there on his shoulder, does everything for them. ….Gives them food and drinks, medicine, bath, toilet facilities and cleans all up, and rubbing their body and everything on the shoulder. “

But the Buddha said, “Monks even though he or she has completed his/her duty in this manner, not yet accomplished. If one would give the state of universal monarch to them is not yet accomplished their duties. But the Buddha said, if one’s mother or father has no faith (saddha), if the son or daughter could establish her/him on saddhā and if mother or father has no morality (sila), and the son or daughter could establish them on morality, if the mother or father is not generous (caga) and the son or daughter establishes them in wisdom (panna) then of cause they have accomplished their duties towards their parents.

So when we think of our own parents, since they were in the cradle of Buddhism in Asia, they are really lucky that they had full of confidence (saddhā), we know very well that our parents observed morality (sila) whenever possible. They have practiced generosity (dana) throughout their lives. They must have given things [if heaped them up] even higher than their height. And they have practiced meditation as far as they have understood it to develop their wisdom (pannā).  Thus, in brief, they have done various kinds of meritorious deeds. Even the merit that we transfer to them is not that important to them.

However, as grateful sons and daughters, it is our duty to perform good deeds and share merit with our departed parents.  Therefore, let us all together get together and share the merit that we have already accrued and wish them
success of their Samsaric journey(Saṃsara) and eventually attain the state of
calm bliss of Nibbana (Nirvana)!
“Ministering to mother is a very pleasant thing and
ministering to father is very pleasant thing in the world.”

So Let us all understand the significance of respecting and supporting parents in this manner and let us all respect and support our parents while they are alive and extend our good thoughts meritorious deeds towards them after their passing away.

The Buddha, as a greatest teacher of human and gods is worthy of honor, the Dharma that his teaching and the Sangha that is the holy community of monks is both worthy of respect and honor. Teachers, elders and those who are higher in prestige than oneself are to be honored and respected. To attend closely to one’s parents is the highest blessing. Here, attending closely to one’s parents’ means ministering their duties, making them happy and healthy.

To listen to each and every piece of advice given by parents, teachers and elders and to do as advised is the highest blessing. To pay respect to those who are worthy of respect is a noble blessing. One shows respect by making way for them, by bending one’s back on passing in front of them, kneeling when offering things, receiving things by both hands, by offering them a seat when traveling on a bus or train, by sitting in a lower place than theirs, humbling oneself in times of admonishment.

Whoever abides by rules of blessings like humility, gratitude, leading a pure life, choosing a blameless occupation, and many more, overcomes all difficulties and oppositions in life and will gain success and prosperity in the present life as well as in future lives. These rules of conduct according to the lecture of the blessings are called the highest auspiciousness because they bring success and prosperity to all who follow them. Parents must be regarded as the most superior beings on earth.

Parents are the first teachers and are worthy of offerings. Our parents are not just parents like the way most of us think. They are even more important than we imagine. Because we are born with ignorance, we need people who are “Pubbacariya”, (or) first teachers, to guide us through the dark world.

Our parents introduce us to this triple world. It might be interesting to see that most of us were taught how to eat, drink, speak, walk, and sit by our parents. Distinguishing between family members and friends is taught to children by parents. Not only did they teach us to distinguish good from bad, but also respect from disrespect, and love from hatred. Before a child leaves where he belongs, most of what he already knows is because of his or her parents; therefore they are called Pubbacariya.

Living with the first devas are those families where, in the home, mother & father are revered by the children. Living with the first teachers are those families where, in the home, mother & father are revered by the children. Living with those worthy of gifts are those families where, in the home, mother & father are revered by the children. 'Brahma' is a designation for mother & father. 'The first Devas' is a designation for mother & father. 'The first teachers' is a designation for mother & father. 'Those worthy of gifts' is a designation for mother & father. Why is that? Mother & father do much for their children. They care for them, nourish them, introduce them to this world.  

“Mother & father, compassionate to their family are called Brahma, first teachers, those worthy of gifts from their children.

So the wise should pay them homage, honor with food & drink, clothing & bedding, anointing & bathing, & washing their feet.

Performing these services to their parents, the wise are praised right here
and after death rejoice in heaven”.

Love your parents and treat them with love and care as much as you can.

Christian Bible said about parents and children

Here is some list of Bible verses that talk about parenting, child instruction, mothers and fathers. Leave me a comment if I’ve left off your favorite. The 10 commandments say "honor thy Father and Mother".

Luke 2:48-52
And when his parents saw him, they were astonished. And his mother said to him, “Son, why have you treated us so? Behold, your father and I have been searching for you in great distress.” (49) And he said to them, “Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” (50) And they did not understand the saying that he spoke to them. (51) And he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them. And his mother treasured up all these things in her heart. (52) And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man. 

Colossians 3:20
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

Ephesians 6:1-4
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Exodus 20:12
“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that
The Lord your God is giving you.

Exodus 21:15-17
(15) “Whoever strikes his father or his mother shall be put to death.
(16) “Whoever steals a man and sells him, and anyone found in possession of him, shall be put to death.
(17) “Whoever curses his father or his mother shall be put to death.

The Bible says that Jesus Christ, "was subject unto them: but his mother kept all these sayings in her heart. And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man"
Luke 2, verses 51, 52.

Christ was obedient to his parents. His affection and respect for his mother was manifested from the cross. He was concerned about her care and well-being. He gave this responsibility to the beloved Apostle John (John 19:25-27). You shall always be children in the eyes of your parents and in the eyes of the Lord. Your response to the commandment, "Obey your parents" and "Honor your father and your mother", will be a pretty good yardstick measuring how well you will obey your Lord and give Him honor through faithful worship.

The child's responsibility is a lifetime achievement, an achievement that will be richly blessed in all walks of life. In the words of Ephesians Chapter 6, it is the first commandment with promise.

Parents should be Models
Honor your parents by showing love and respect for them and by being obedient. Be willing to health in the home with chores that need to be done. Participate in family activities and traditions. Set a good example for other family members.

Do you part to build to a happy home? Be cheerful, helpful and considerate of others. Many problems in the homes are created because families members speak are act selfishly (or) unkindly. Concern yourself with the needs of other family members. Seek to be a peacemaker rather than to tease, fight and quarrel.

Parents under any circumstances should avoid from quarreling, acting rudely, divorcing between themselves, threatening to get divorced occasionally, speaking very rudely. As these kinds of behavior seriously hurt the feelings of the children, the parents should refrain from creating such scenes in front of them. The parents should be aware that if they keep on quarreling now and then, the children would feel isolated and insecure for their future and the health of their mind is threatened.

Naturally, the children yearn for kindness and love from their elders, parents and teachers, if they are loved, they also reciprocate similarly. They desire their family to have between parents and children, brothers and sisters, among sisters themselves.

Parents should provide love and care to their children all the time, should answer their queries with patience must be able to explain to them the do's and they don't s. It is also necessary to avoid being too disciplined, too, liberal, too favoring and to refrain from being extreme.

The parents should be patient with their children, they must teach their children with perseverance. They must be able to teach their children to understand the good and the bad, beginning right from the basics. If the parents themselves cannot be patient with their own, children then who else would be so.

Good manners are something our parents and other adults usually teach us as a child. Having good manners means showing honor and respect to everyone around you. It means being polite. It includes humility, humanitarian outlook, compassion, loving kindness and understanding.

Parents, teachers and other adults should always be examples of good manners. If adults are rude to children, then children will learn to be rude. If parents are impolite to each other, then children will learn to be impolite. If children hear one adult insulting another, they will learn to speak that ways, too.

There are three important things we must remember. Children's confidences in their parents are very important. Children regard their parents as their heroes, powerful benefactors. Parents are highly regarded and their confidants. Parents should understand that their actions and what they say are regarded as examples by the children: the parent's genes, the environmental situation, model character, behavior and qualifications etc.

Parents should be example for their children. Thus, it is important that the parents should have good mind, good character, good behavior, good thinking, disciplined, law abiding and good mannered. One must have love and respect for one's own country, religion, literature, family, culture, nationality for all in the same way. They love and respect to their country, their religion, their literature, their family, their culture and their nationality.

Every person should possess some moral courage to lead a useful life. We should have courage to do what is right and to abstain from evil deeds. We should have courage to speak the truth and about democracy and human rights and to speak out in the public.

We should be courageous to stand for our rights. When we encounter losses and unpleasantness in life, we must have courage to be cheerful and to try again. We should develop both physical courage and moral courage as much as we can.

All parents love their children, with surprisingly few exceptions. But no parent is perfect—which means that somebody has childhood wounds. Some children got worries about their polygamy of parents and divorce.

Researchers have found out those children from divorced parent worry that their parents don't love them anymore and they feel abandoned. They have strong feeling of being divorced too. In fact they feel powerless and helpless because they can't get their parents back together. They are angry although they may not express their anger. They often feel they are at fault believing they might have been the cause.

Divorce affects children differently, depending on their gender, age and stage of development. Their world, their security and their stability seem to fall apart when their parents go their different ways.

They grieved it. Divorce is a loss in the lives of children and parents. They experience a grieving process very similar to mourning a death. They also experience conflicts of loyalty. If we're lucky, our parents were good enough for us to be able to hold on to the knowledge of their love for us and our love for them, even in the face of the things they did that hurt us.

Nevertheless forgiving our parents is a core task of adulthood, and one of the most crucial kinds of forgiveness. We can see our parents in our mates, in our friends, in our bosses, in our benefactor, in our mates, even in our children.

Parents’ duties

The parents should dissuade their children from doing evil. Parents are the first school for their children, where they learn their elementary lessons in good and evil. Therefore, parents should be very careful to steer their children away from all kinds of evil, such as lying, cheating, dishonesty, and revenge.

Parents should persuade the children to develop and manifest good qualities, such as kindness, obedience, courage, honesty, perseverance, simplicity, and good manners. Parents should see that their children learn a suitable art or science as well as ethical and moral principles. Education develops discipline, and the disciplined person is a blessing to any nation or country.

Parent should arrange a suitable marriage partner for their children. If husband and wife do not assist each other, do not love each other, do not share their happiness and sorrow with each other, do not look after each other, do not respect each other, their experience will be life-long misery. The parents have the right to advise their children with regard to their proposed marriages. Parents should admonish them and explain the duties of a husband and wife as given in the Sigalovada Sutta. The fifth duty of parents is to hand over their inheritance to their children at the proper time.

Children should show their gratitude to parents by living a virtuous life, showing good respect to them, speaking to them in a nice and warm fashion, and taking good care of them. Children should never hold a grudge against their parents, regardless of their shortcomings. Every parent wants his or her children to be good and virtuous human beings.

Parents can set a good example for their children by caring for their own ageing parents. When we take care of our parents, we should do so without expectation of anything in return. We already owe our parents a tremendous debt for giving us life in a human form, for bringing us up and for giving us an education among other things.

There is happiness and harmony in the home when parents do their best in bringing up their children, taking good care of them and educating them, and when the children appreciate their parents' efforts in providing for their security and well-being. Filial love is a form of respect that children have for their parents. A child may express his gratitude and respect towards his parents by:

(i)           Supporting them;
(ii)         Taking upon himself the duties that they have to perform;
(iii)       Protecting the family property;
(iv)       Preserving the family honor;
(v)         Making offerings in honor of them and transferring merits to them after their death.

The feeling of parents towards their children is one of tender compassion. Parents protect their children and wish them well. Parents can guide and help their children by:

(i)           Restraining them from unwholesome behavior;
(ii)         Teaching them moral values;
(iii)       Providing for their education;
(iv)       Helping them to make a good marriage;
(v)         Letting them inherit the family wealth at a proper time.

It is the duty of parents to see to the welfare of their children. In fact the dutiful and loving parents shoulder the responsibilities with pleasure. To lead children on the right path, parents should first set the example and lead ideal lives. It is almost impossible to expect worthy children from unworthy parents. Apart from the Karmic tendencies children inherit from previous births, they invariably inherit the defects and virtues of parents too. Responsible parents should take every precaution not to transmit undesirable tendencies to their progeny.

According to the Sigalovada Sutta, there are five duties that should be performed by parents:
1. Restrain them from doing evil actions
2. Support and encourage them in doing good deeds
3. Give them good education and teach them different skills
4. Combine them with a suitable husband or a wife
5. Hand over their inheritance at the proper time

Children’s duties: (These five ways in which a son or daughter should minister to his mother or father)

1. Support them with four requisites-food & drinks, clothing, shelter, and medication
2. Perform their duties such as feeding, giving bath, rubbing body, washing feet, raising them and helping them to do whatever they find difficult to do
3. Keep up the family tradition, name, and image
4. Be worthy of their inheritance
5. Transfer merit to them after their death

Parents are called "Brahma", "teachers of old." 
We have seen that the Blessed One likens parents to Brahma. They are also Pubbacariya, Ahuneyya and Prajayanukampaka. How? Brahma is endowed with the four great qualities of Metta, Karuna, Mudita and Upekkha, and these he extends to all beings in all direction of Space, we are told. In the same way, the Blessed One says that one’s parents too shower these venerable qualities on their children, and in so doing, themselves become like unto Brahma (ie. God) to their children. And, this is how it all happens. First, parents desire the health and happiness of their yet unborn child, while it is still in the womb of its mother and keep wishing and praying and looking forward to the day when they will see their child.

Why so? The reason is that parents do much for their children; they give life to them, nourish and bring them up, and introduce them to the world.

We are also taught that the debt of gratitude children owe their parents for what their parents have done for them cannot be repaid to them whatever their children might do in return their parents. For instance, if by keeping the mother on one shoulder for even a hundred years, a child thinks he can repay them for all that his or her parents have done for him or her, he is wrong. Even in this manner, parents cannot be repaid for what they have done throughout the years for their children to bring them up to where they are today.

Thank you so much for your time and read my article carefully.